WRITTEN BY: EMILY BREYFOGLE

DATE: OCTOBER 7, 2008

TITLE: CASSIE: GRACE AT MY FEET; FAITH MY EYES.

THIS IS ANOTHER MEMORY THAT ONE OF CASSIE'S OTHER BEST FRIENDS HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT HER AND SENT IT TOO ME. SO I AM SHARING THIS WITH ALL WHO READS THESE MEMORIES.

ONE DAY---WHILE VISITING WITH MY ROOMMATE, JESSICA, AND WE CHATTED ALL DAY LONG. WE TALKED ABOUT OUR FAMILIES AND OUR OLD FRIENDS AND NEW FRIENDS. WE BROUGHT OUT OUR HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOKS; THEN CAME THE MEMORIES OF CASSIE.

CASSIE IS ONE OF THE BEST FRIENDS I HAVE HAD AND PROBLEY WILL EVER HAVE. SHE AND I MET AS 6TH GRADERS; LOST AND CONFUSED AT LOGAN MIDDLE SCHOOL IN WATERLOO, IOWA. CASSIE WAS TALL AND THIN, WORE HAND-ME-DOWNS, BIG GEEK GLASSES, AND HAD THE LONGEST HAIR OUT OF ANYONE IN SCHOOL! BECAUSE OF HER APPEARNANCE, SHE WAS THE OBJECT OF TWEEN RIDICULE.

FOR SOME REASON, CASSIE WAS NEVER LIKE THE REST OF US, AND WAS NOT FAZED BY HER POVERTY. MATERIAL POSSESSIONS NEVER APPEALED TO HER. INSTEAD OF WANTING TO GO OUT AND BUY THE BRANDS THAT WERE POPULAR, AT OUR SCHOOL AND ATTEMPT TO ASSIMILATE, SHE HAD NO QUALMS WITH HER THRIFT STORE THREADS. CASSIE HAD A FONDNESS FOR HER CATS, 80'S MUSIC, AND AT OUR AGE, WAS UNUSUALLY CLOSE TO HER MOM. WITH THEIR BIRTHDAYS ONLY DAYS APART, THE TWO OF THEM WERE PRACTICALLY TWINS IN THEIR THOUGHTS AND PERSONALITIES.

IF I BELIEVED IN ASTROLOGY, I COULD PUT CASSIE AND HER MOM, TANYA, PERFECTLY INTO THE CAPRICORN'S STEREOTYPE OF ORGANIZED, INTELLIGENT, FRANK HOMEBODIES. AS WE GREW INTO OUR TEEN YEARS, CASSIE WAS FIERCELY INDEPENDENT, AND WOULD BICKER WITH HER MOM ABOUT THE LEVEL OF CONTROL EXERTED. CASSIE WASN'T ONE TO GO OUT AND PARTY OVER THE WEEKEND. HONESTLY, THEY WERE MORE LIKELY TO FIGHT OVER A HAIRSTYLE THAN HOW LATE CASSIE STAYED OUT!

THE INDEPENDENCE, THE ORGANIZATION, THE EVER-LOGIC TO A FAULT, AND BLUNT NATURE THAT DEFINED CASSIE, NEVER LEFT. DURING HIGH SCHOOL, CASSIE WAS AN EVER NEUTRALIZING FORCE FOR MY NATURALLY VOLATILE, DRAMATIC, FIRECRACKER TENDENCIES. I HAD ALWAYS BEEN ANALYTICAL, TO A POINT WHERE IT DRIVES ME BONKERS!!! OR, BEING OVER THE WALKING CONTRADICTION THAT I AM, I WOULD DO SOMETHING VERY IMPULSIVELY. CASS WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE TO STOMP, CLICK HER TONGUE, AND PUT ME IN MY PLACE. MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, I WAS ANGRY AT THE REBUKE. BUT, SHE WAS ALWAYS THERE, SUPPORATIVE, BUT SENSITIVELY ATTUNED, SHE KNEW HOW I TOOK OTHER'S OPINIONS OF WHO I WAS TO THE HEART. DESPITE HER ABILITY TO BE ALMOST CRUELLY HONEST, SHE WAS MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, MORE GENTLE WITH ME THAN WHAT I DESERVE.

DESPITE HER NATURAL GRAVITATION TO HOME, FRIENDS, AND FAMILY, AND ORDERLY LIVING, CASSIE'S INDEPENDENT NATURE TRUMPED IT ALL. HIDDEN BENEATH THE QUIET, OBSERVANT, PRUDENT YOUNG WOMAN, WAS A BLUNT, OPINIONATED, OUTSPOKEN CAGED LION, ROARING FOR ADVENTURE. SHE COULD HIDE WHO SHE WAS FROM YOU SO WELL, THEN SHE WOULD SURPRISE YOU...OH YES, DISARMING YOU WAS HER GREATEST JOY! YOU NEVER THOUGHT THAT A STRAIGHT-A TEACHER'S PET HAD A DAREDEVIL BONE IN HER BODY, BUT HER GREAT LOVE IN LIFE, BEYOND GROOMING HER HAIR, WAS PROBLEY ANYTHING WITH A BIG ENGINE THAT WENT VROOM-VROOM. I SWEAR, THAT GIRL WAS ABLE TO GUESS THE TYPE OF MOTORCYCLE A PERSON WAS RIDING BASED ON THE SOUND. GOT A HARLEY??? SHE WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND!!! ANYTHING THAT COULD DO FLIPS, TURNS, OR GO FAST, OH MY!, SHE WAS ON IT, BOOTY LONG HAIR FLYING BEHIND HER!!! THE DESIRE FOR A THRILL WAS EVENTUALLY WHAT CAUSED HER DEMISE.

IN APRIL OF 2006, OUR BEAUTIFUL, DEFIANT, INTELLIGENT, STAR WAS RIDING HER BROTHER'S AND BOYFRIEND'S---ATV----TOOK A RAMP, THEN FLEW OFF THE ATV. THE ATV THEN LANDED ON HER SKULL. FROM MY UNDERSTANDING, IT KILLED HER INSTANTLY; TAKING A YOUNG AND VIBRANT LIFE TO ETERNITY.

I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I SAW HER. CASSIE WAS OVER AT A NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE VISITING. IT WAS MY LAST SUMMER LIVING IN WATERLOO, AND I HADN'T SEEN CASSIE IN AGES!!! I RAN OVER TO SAY HELLO. SHE WAS SITTIN IN A KIDDIE POOL WEARING A MISMATCHED BIKINI, AS USUAL, NOT OVERLY WORRIED ABOUT HER CLOTHING, JUST HER HAIR!! CASSIE HAD MOVED INTO A TRAILER WITH HER BOYFRIEND, TRINITY, AND WAS WORKING FULL TIME AT A CABINET COMPANY HERE IN TOWN. CASS PROBLEY COULD HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE ON SCHOLARSHIP WITH HER GRADES, BUT SHE LOVED WHAT SHE DID! I WONDERED IF HER HOUSE LOOKED ANY DIFFERENT THAN TANYA'S...CASSIE'S STYLE HAD NOT CHANGED ONE BIT. BUT....IT WAS A BIT....MESSY. CASSIE COMPLAINED ABOUT WHAT A PIG TRINITY WAS, HOW SHE ALWAYS HAD TO CLEAN UP AFTER HIM, HOW SHE DID ALL THE WORK, HOW HE ALWAYS MOVED HER STUFF, HOW IT DROVE HER CRAZY....AS ALWAYS, CASSIE WANTED THINGS DONE HER WAY. I TOLD HER ABOUT MY PLANS TO MOVE TO DES MOINES PERMANENTLY, AND I APPLIED WITH A JOB WORKING WITH KIDS WITH AUTISM. I BET SHE WONDERED IF I HAD THE PATIENCE TO HANDLE THAT KIND OF JOB (WHICH AMAZINGLY ENOUGH, I DID). WE DISCUSSED ABOUT HER JOB, HER LIFE, HER CATS, WHO WERE THE SAME ONES SHE'D HAD SINCE WE WERE 6TH GRADER'S AT LOGAN MIDDLE SCHOOL. SHE WAS SATISIFIED WITH IT ALL.

I REMEMBER WHEN SHE DIED. IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DAY, IN THE MIDDLE OF APRIL. I WAS AT CHURCH, HELPING WITH ONE OF OUR YOUTH GROUPS. I RECEIVED A CALL ON THE CHURCH PHONE. IT WAS MY MOTHER; SHE WAS CRYING. I STIFFENED, KNOWING INSTANTLY SOMEONE HAD PASSED AWAY. I CALMED HER DOWN, AND SHE INFORMED ME THAT CASSIE HAD DIED. I WAS STUNNED!!! IT WAS UNCOMPREHENSIBLE. AS SOON AS I WAS OFF THE PHONE, AND TOLD MY THEN BOYFRIEND, PHILIP, WHAT HAPPENED, HE THREW HIS ARMS AROUND ME, WHICH AS A STUDENT OF FBBC SEMINARY WAS BREAKING A RULE. SOMETIMES THOUGH, BREAKING A RULE BECOMES NECESSARY.

THE FUNERAL WAS ON A THURSDAY. I TOOK OFF MY BRAND-SPANKIN NEW JOB THAT DAY, AND DROVE TO MY FRIEND AMY'S HOUSE IN IOWA FALLS. WE THEN CARPOOLED TO WATERLOO. SEEING TANYA AT THE FUNERAL WAS DEVASTATING. SHE HELD ME FOR A LONG TIME, AND TOLD ME THAT CASSIE SAID I WAS ONE OF HER BEST FRIENDS SHE'D EVER HAD, AND STILL WAS, NOT LONG BEFORE SHE DIED. THE THING WAS, I LOST TOUCH WITH HER. I DIDN'T FEEL WORTHY OF THAT TITLE. FRIENDS CALL ME LOYAL, BUT CASSIE'S LOYALITY TO HER FRIENDS AND FAMILY COULD PUT ME TO SHAME.

AS THE FUNERAL ENDED, TANYA CHOOSE TO PLAY THE SONG, 'HAVE A NICE DAY' BY JON BON JOVI; CASSIE'S ALL-TIME FAVORITE SINGER. HERE IS AN EXCERPT FROM HIS SONG:

            THE CHORUS:

OH, IF THERE IS ONE THING I HOLD ONTO,

THAT GETS ME THROUGH THE NIGHT,

I AIN'T GONNA DO WHAT I DON'T WANT TO,

I'M GONNA LIVE MY LIFE.

SHINNING LIKE A DIAMOND, ROLLING WITH THE DICE,

STANDING ON THE LEDGE, I'LL SHOW THE WIND HOW TO FLY,

WHEN THE WORLD GETS IN MY FACE,

I SAY:

HAVE A NICE DAY;

HAVE A NICE DAY!

YES, THIS DEFINED WHO SHE WAS. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT!!! CASSIE, IN ALL HER BEAUTY, BRAINS, WISDOME, ENJOYMENT OF SIMPLICITY AND SAUCINESS, WAS NEVER AFRAID TO BE HERSELF.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM CASSIE; DON'T BE AFRAID TO LIVE THE LIFE THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. DON'T BE AFRAID TO TAKE A RISK. LET'S REMEMBER CASSIE FOR HER BEAUTY, HER VIBRANCE, WARM ACCEPTANCE OF OTHERS, AND FEARLESSNESS. LET'S STRIVE TO BE LIKE HER. I REMEMBER ALL THE YEARS SOME OF US MADE FUN OF HER, BUT I THINK, DEEP DOWN, WE ALL WANTED TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH WHAT WE WERE; AS SHE WAS WITH HERSELF. SHAME ON US FOR NOT EMBRACING HER BEAUTY SOONER.

WE ALL LOVE YOU CASSIE. THANK YOU FOR COMING INTO OUR LIVES. WE MISS YOU AND WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU.

HERE IS ANOTHER PRECIOUS MEMORY FROM MICHELLE ABOUT CASSIE.

CASSIE GOT HER ADVICE SKILLS FROM HER MOM. SHE WAS ALWAYS ABLE TO TELL ME WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR....EVEN IF I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I NEEDED IT.

I REMEMBER THE TIME CASSIE WENT WITH ME SHOPPING IN CEDAR RAPIDS.....IT WAS RIGHT AFTER I HAD GONE INTO MY SOPHOMORE YEAR IN COLLEGE AND I WAS THINKING ABOUT SWITCHING MAJORS. I WAS SO STRESSED OUT ABOUT WHAT MY FAMILY WOULD THINK; WHAT I WOULD DO, AND HOW IT ALL WOULD WORK. CASSIE JUST TOLD ME THAT I NEEDED TO BE HAPPY AND THAT IF I WASN'T, THEN I COULD EITHER CHANGE IT OR STAY UNHAPPY.

IT WAS DEFINITELY SOMETHING THAT I NEEDED TO HEAR. EVERYONE ELSE WAS ASKING ME WHAT I WOULD DO WITH A HISTROY DEGREE AND HOW I WOULD GRADUATE IN TIME. CASSIE WAS CONCERNED WITH MY HAPPINESS AND WELL-BEING. NOT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WOULD THINK IF I CHANGED MAJORS. CASSIE, TAKING CARE OF EVERYONE AND MAKING SURE THEY WERE HAPPY. BUT THAT WAS CASSIE; ALWAYS CARING.

MICHELLE LEFT ME A MESSAGE ON MYSPACE ABOUT HER FIRST MEETING WITH CASSIE. SO, THE NEXT MEMORIES ARE WRITTEN BY MICHELLE HERZBERG, ONE OF CASSIE'S BEST FRIENDS!

FIRST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL AND I HAD JUST MOVED HERE FROM JESUP AND WAS TERRIFIED....ALL OF MY FRIENDS HAD MADE WATERLOO SOUND LIKE CRIMINALS HAD TAKEN OVER WATERLOO OR SOMETHING! WELL, I WAS STANDING BY MY LOCKER AND I DON'T KNOW IF CASSIE COULD SEE THAT I WAS NERVOUS OR NOT, BUT SHE CAME RIGHT OVER TO ME AND SAID, "HI, I'M CASSIE"; AND THEN SHE COPIED MY SCHEDULE DOWN AND MET ME BEFORE LUNCH. SHE INTRODUCED ME TO A LOT OF MY FRIENDS THAT DAY.

ONE FRIEND IN PARTICULAR, EMILY BREYFOGLE, AND I RECONNECTED AGAIN AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, AND WE'VE TALKED ABOUT CASSIE QUIET A BIT. SHE REALLY MADE AN IMPACT ON BOTH OF US.

I REMEMBER WHEN CASSIE FIRST FOUND OUT THAT SHE WAS GOING TO BE A BIG SISTER. SHE WAS SO EXCITED!!!! SHE GRINNED ALL DAY LONG AND TOLD JUST ABOUT THE WHOLE SCHOOL!! IN FACT, I THINK SHE DID TELL THE ENTIRE SCHOOL!! SHE WAS ON CLOUD NINE FOREVER AND I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD NEVER SEE HER HAPPIER! BUT THEN, GEORGE WAS BORN. ANYONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW BETTER, WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT GEORGE WAS HER CHILD AND NOT HER BROTHER!!!  CASSIE WAS SO PROUD OF HIM AND LOVED TO SHOW HIM OFF. MY FAVORITE MEMORIES ARE ALL THE TIMES SHE WOULD BRING HIM TO SCHOOL TO SHOW GEORGE OFF TO ALL OF US!!!! SHE LOVED HIM SO MUCH!!!

I PULLED OUT CASSIE'S BABYBOOK TODAY. READING THINGS AND REMEMBERING HER CHILDHOOD. SHE HAD LOTS OF FUN. SHE'S WAS AN OVER-ACHIEVER EVEN THEN. HERE ARE A FEW THINGS THAT GOT PUBLISHED IN THE NEWSLETTERS FOR SCHOOL, THAT CASSIE SAID.

THE HOUSE:

IT IS PURPLE. MY FAMILY LIVES IN IT.

CAT:

THE CAT WAS IN THE HOUSE. MY CAT'S NAME IS SNEAKY. SNEAKY PLAYED WITH A TOY RAT. SHE PLAYED WITH A BALL. SHE PLAYED IN THE KITCHEN WITH A TOY.

I THOUGHT THESE WERE CUTE, SO I'M SHARING THEM WITH ALL OF YOU.

WE LOVE YOU CASSIE.

LOVE MOM AND GEORGE.

EASTER 2006: A MEMORY THAT WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. REV. JIM ITES, ASKED IF I KNEW ANYONE WHO WOULD TAKE THE JUNGLE-GYM THAT THEY HAD AT HIS CHURCH. I SAID I WOULD TAKE IT. IT WOULD MAKE A GREAT EASTER GIFT FOR GEORGE! PROBLEM WAS, TRYING TO FIND PEOPLE TO HELP ME GET IT MOVED FROM THE CHURCH TO OUR HOUSE! BUT I FOUND THE HELP AND WE GOT STARTED. IT WAS A LONG DAY. VERY EXHAUSTING. I TOLD CASSIE ABOUT IT AND SHE THOUGHT THE SAME THING I DID, GEORGE IS GOING TO LOVE HAVING HIS OWN PRIVATE PARK IN HIS YARD!!!!! CASSIE AGREED TO KEEP GEORGE WITH HER UNTIL WE I CALLED HER TO LET HER KNOW THAT WE GOT IT AND HAD SET IT UP. IT WASN'T EASY. THE CLUTCH ON MY PICKUP BURNED UP, TEMPERS WERE HIGH, AND WE WERE RUNNING OUT OF TIME! I WANTED TO GET THIS JUNGLE GYM HOME AND SET UP BEFORE EASTER! IT TOOK US AWHILE TO GET IT HOME AND SET IT UP. BY 8PM THAT NIGHT, WE WERE EXHAUSTED! HOPING GEORGE WOULD LIKE IT AND PLAY ON IT THAT NIGHT, BUT HE DIDN'T GET TO, HE HAD TO WAIT THE FOLLOWING DAY, EASTER. I CALLED CASSIE AND TOLD HER THAT WE HAD GOTTEN IT SET UP AND THAT SHE COULD BRING GEORGE HOME. CASSIE WANTED TO HELP US WITH ALL THE WORK THAT WE DID, BUT GEORGE WANTED TO BE WITH HIS SISTER. WHEN SHE GOT HERE WITH GEORGE, I MET THEM AT HER PICKUP AND BROUGHT HIM IN THE BACKDOOR AND WALKED ALL THE WAY TO THE FRONT! I TOLD HIM TO CLOSE HIS EYES, AND HE SAID, ONLY IF SISSY CLOSED HER EYES ALSO. HEHE SO SHE DID. WHEN WE GOT OUTSIDE ON THE FRONT PORCH, I TOLD GEORGE AND CASSIE TO OPEN THEIR EYES AND BOTH OF THEM JUST LIT UP! YOU'D A THOUGHT IT WAS CHRISTMAS! IMMEDIATELY THEY WANTED TO PLAY ON THE JUNGLE GYM AND OFF THEY WENT. ONLY 15 MINUTES AND THEY HAD TO COME INSIDE. BUT ON EASTER SUNDAY, THEY WERE BOTH OUTSIDE PLAYING ON THE JUNGLE GYM. CASSIE, BEING 21 YEARS OLD, WAS ACTING LIKE SHE WAS 10 YRS. OLD AND HAVING A BALL WITH GEORGE PLAYING. THEY LAUGHED, GIGGLED, AND CHASED EACH OTHER ALL OVER THAT THING! CASSIE WHISPERED TO ME, "MOM, YOU DID GREAT GETTING THAT FOR GEORGE AND I AM SO PROUD OF YOU. YOU MADE GEORGE'S DAY! I LOVE YOU!" I HUGGED HER AND TOLD HER THANK YOU AND THAT I LOVED HER AND GEORGE VERY MUCH. WE STOOD THERE WATCHING GEORGE, A PROUD SISTER AND A PROUD MOM.

THIS EASTER IS HARD, WE MISS CASSIE. REMEMBERING THE HOLIDAY, WITHOUT CASSIE, IS EXTREMELY HARD. WE LOVE YOU MY DAUGHTER AND MY BEST FRIEND. LOVE FOREVER, MOMMY AND GEORGE.